


Unspoken Wish

by Izzu



Category: Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-02-12
Updated: 2006-02-12
Packaged: 2017-12-08 04:12:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzu/pseuds/Izzu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his heart was restored, Howl wonders whether Sophie still intends to leave him. What could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which Howl realized his feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Repost from my FF account, with another revision. Hopefully by the time I could finish the revision on the current 5 chapters I could finally finish the last chapter.

_"The curse is fulfilled. I can lay hands on your heart now." And Miss Angorian reached her hand down into the grate and plucked Calcifer out of it. Calcifer wobbled on top of her clenched fist, looking terrified. "Nobody move..." she said warningly as everyone froze._

_Nobody dared move a muscle, Howl most of all._

_"Help!" Calcifer said weakly as Miss Angorian glared at him._

_"Nobody can help you..." said Miss Angorian. "You are going to help me control my new human. Let me show you. I have only to tighten my grip." Her hand that was holding Calcifer squeezed until its knuckles turned pale yellow..._

xxx

"Aargh!" cried Howl as he sat up in alarm. His breath came out harsh as his heart thumped wildly. He shifted his palm towards the left-side of his chest as he felt his own heart beating at a faster pace. "I'm... still alive!" he gasped as he wrapped his arm around himself. His body shook in fear.

It had only been few hours passed after he destroyed the old witch's heart; destroyed Miss Angorian, the fire demon along with it and broke the spell which restored both Wizard Sulliman and Prince Justin. He had to thank Sophie for it. If it was not because of her, he would not be alive now. He shuddered a little as he thought of the worst predicament...

He could have died. Or worse, becoming that fire demon's new puppet. Both would end up with him losing Sophie forever...

Howl glanced around his room as he caught sight of the window. Neil was running out in the garden now, playing football with his friends. They looked so lively... a fact that hadn't cheered him up a bit. Megan came out of the house with Mari, as she called on to the boys for dinner and the boys disappeared into the house. As if yesterday's chaos regarding the Witch's attempt to hurt them never happened. Though the fact that it did, made him feeling morose. Megan, after finding out of the other side of his life or rather, what she assumed it was, had finally decided that he would no longer be welcomed into the household. Not that she hadn't already said it before. He sighed, as he noticed Mari's miserable look from afar.

He tried imagining the warmth of that house, of her sister and her family. But that warmth was not his, he ceased to be welcomed in that world anymore. Though with the new fact that he had his heart restored, could any of it changed between them? Mari had cried when Megan announced her decision and Neil was too afraid to say anything to his defence. It was almost laughable that Megan would suddenly consider him again after her children were almost endangered because of him.

He shook his head, trying to push away the hope that might not come true at all. He glanced towards his bedside. Something was quite amiss. It looked like somebody had tried to sweep clean the dusts in his room as he saw some of the spiders remained at the farthest corner of the room, afraid to venture further. Howl smiled in amazement.  _Could it be Sophie?_ , he thought as he recalled that last night, he had a number of visitors inside the castle. He thought of Mrs. Fairfax and Fanny, Sophie's step-mom and guessed if it hadn't been Sophie's work, it might have been them. Elder women seemed to be fond of cleaning up. Be it Megan, Sophie when she had been cursed, Fanny as well as Mrs. Fairfax!

They should have made a cleaning society or something...

Howl yawned as he glanced towards his bed. Despite his apparent tiredness, he didn't feel like sleeping. He had after all, woken up after a nightmare though it was not really one. And previously, he had an awful dream about the Witch catching hold of him and tried to take Sophie away from him... fulfilling Sophie's part of his curse, which he had secretly feared.

A sudden wave of calmness swept over him as he thought of the young lady whom he had fallen in love for. He immediately rose from the bed and walked out of his room...

xxx

Howell crept slowly down the stairs as he could barely saw Calcifer dozing off as a small blue fire on the hearth. He turned and headed towards Sophie's room as his hand hovered over the door knob to twist it open.

"Whacha doin', you sneak?" asked Calcifer as Howl jumped to his wits. He hissed at the hovering ball of flame as he peeked in to see Sophie's still asleep. Howl turned towards Calcifer.

"Idiot! I almost had a heart attack!" he hissed again as he massaged his chest. Calcifer swirled over him as its flame formed a fiery line that might have been a smirk.

"Funny that you'd say it like that... considering you just got your heart back. So... what are you doing sneaking up on Sophie?"

"Shush!" Howl hissed as he entered the room, shutting the door behind him. "It was none of your business!" he hissed again before shutting the door completely. Howl sighed as another voice made him jumped.

"What was none of its business... Howell Jenkins?"

Howl turned towards her, face white as Sophie eyed him curiously. "And what are you doing sneaking up to my bedroom this late?" she asked again as Howl paled.

As if all of his previous courage went down the drain at that instant, he stuttered. "Unh... S-Sophie, I... I think I should leave you alone. Good night..." he said before hastily turning around to leave.

"Stop there this second. Come here" said Sophie commanding as Howl froze in his action and walked obediently to her side. He sat beside her as she glanced at him meaningfully. It annoys him when she was like this. Ever since Mrs. Pentstemmon told her that she could talk magick into things, she seemed to be doing it all the time. Especially after he told her to think first before acting. She probably noticed that she could also control people with her words... like how she'd made Calcifer obeyed her the first time she came into the castle and how she made everyone rally to stop Miss Angorian from running away.

He hated the fact that even  _he_  should fall under her powers. Him, the supposedly most powerful wizard on the land...

But then, he was so hopelessly infatuated with her as much that he doesn't dread it so badly. Despite what he often show to people of how he hates it.

"Howl..." said Sophie again in her usual tone. Howl looked up towards her as he noticed her beautiful features, her usual braid was not present, instead her red-gold hair was led down freely. But even that won't convince him to fess up. He kept quiet as he kept quiet, trying to fight the force of her stares. Sophie yawned as his attitude annoyed her. And it was in the middle of the night to top it off!

She placed a hand on his shoulders as she stressed on her words. "You looked terrible.  _Tell me_... what's wrong?" she asked as Howl made a face at her. He looked away as he whispered softly.

"I... can't sleep" he said, unashamedly as Sophie sighed in relief. She thought it was something much worse. She crept nearer as she pulled the lad into her embrace. Howl cried in surprise as Sophie whispered to him.

"It's okay... just sleep."

Howl felt like wanting to snap at her for suggesting such things. It won't be  _that_  easy to make him sleep. If it was that easy... he had done it himself!

However, contrary to what he thought... his eyelids grew heavy as he fell asleep in Sophie's embrace.

xxx

Sophie carressed his face as the wizard already fast asleep on her lap. She scuttled back as she gently pulled him properly onto the bed. A weird thought hovered in her mind as Fanny's disapproving look came to her line of thoughts.

 _"No...! You aren't married yet! You can't sleep together like this!"_  cried the Fanny illusion as Mrs. Fairfax countered her words. 

 _"Nonsense! You can't make yourself pregnant just by sleeping together without the extra activities..."_ she said as illusions of Martha and Lettie assisted with Mrs. Fairfax's explanations. Sophie blushed as her wild imaginations took a life of their own. She chuckled as she threw herself back onto her pillows, pulling the covers up and wrapping her arm around Howell.

Howl, as if feeling her touch, snuggled closer as the the night birds chirped away into the darkness...

xxx

He woke up the next day, dazed as he realized that he was sleeping on Sophie's bed. Startled, he sat up to see that he was alone. Reluctantly Howl walked out of the room and was greeted by the cheerful and excited looks of Michael and Calcifer.

"So... how's your night? Sleep well?" teased Calcifer as Howl's face flushed red.

"Why'd you care?" he grumbled as he grabbed a toast. "Unh... where's Sophie?" he asked afterwards, looking around to see the room lacking in Sophie's loving presense as Michael gave him his breakfast.

"She's at Fanny's. It's been a while since the whole family got together... so she went over for a visit. Yesterday's doesn't count much... with all the excitement, all the fuss with Miss Angorian and the witch and about you—" Howl glared at him as Michael squeaked, "—I mean... with you almost died and got your heart restored. It had been quite lively, don't you think so, Master Howl? It was not quite the family reunion she'd expected..."

Howl suddenly looked crestfallen as he sat on the chair. "I guess... yeah" he gasped softly as Michael nudged him about his breakfast.

"Sophie made it this morning. We've already eaten... and she's especially told us to make you eat too. She said that you seemed pretty weak... and I said no wonder after yesterday—! Err... Master Howl?"

Calcifer seemed to notice it too as he jumped out of the hearth into the fireball that he was and hovered near him. "Howl? What's the matter... is anything wrong with you? Chest hurting again?" asked the floating fire demon as Howl clutched his chest in pain. Howl just shook his head.

"No... nothing. It just hurt a little... it's okay" he said as Michael looked at him in alarm, remembering yesterday's incident when Miss Angorian literally almost crushed his heart.

"It's because of yesterday, isn't it? That evil demon—" Michael started as Howl waved him away.

"It's okay..." he said again as Michael looked at him guiltily. He had been planning to go to Fanny's since Martha was there and he wanted to see her stepfather too. You know... getting to know the family. Should be a good plan to get the family's approval when they finally decided to marry. But seeing Howl's condition, he wondered if he should leave him alone in the castle. Err... well, not really. Calcifer will be with him but should anything happen to him, the fire demon will be quite useless!

Howl slowly started to eat his breakfast of bacon and poached eggs as he made cheerful face like he hadn't fallen ill before.  _Never mind it, he seemed okay now._ Michael shrugged as he turned towards Calcifer. "Look after Master Howl, won't you?" he said as he left.

Howl heard Calcifer complaining about it as he focused himself on his food.

So... Sophie's off seeing her family. Then, what he did yesterday getting her whole family together was not much use after all. Since the Witch had made plan on tackling him during that time too and ruining the lovely reunion.

Howl sighed. Now that things had finally calmed down, would Sophie leave him? He noticed that she felt that way, after the chaotic events at Port Haven and all those time later when she was so crossed with him. Those were the main reason that he had arranged the family reunion yesterday after all. Sophie was not  _that_  good at keeping secrets. And it hurts him to think that he might lose her that the pain shot up so powerfully earlier in his heart as if he could die from the thought.

The doorbell rang as Calcifer yelled that it was from the shop. He sighed as he got up, turned the knob orange-down and went out. He should have told Michael to put the closed tag on the shop entrance...

xxx

Sophie giggled as Lettie told her about her talk with Wizard Sulliman. She had finally agreed to be his apprentice with Mrs. Fairfax's permission and was very delighted at telling her how charming the wizard seemed to be. Martha grinned as she added that Lettie's probably already am smitten to Wizard Sulliman. She been acting that way already with Percival...

"Oh no... Martha, don't tease me!" cried Lettie, blushing as the door opened and Michael chipped in. Martha cried in delight at seeing him as Sophie smiled.

"Hi Michael!" cried Sophie before adding in concern, "How's Howell?"

Michael shrugged. "He's fine. I did what you told me to tell him... and..."

Sophie frowned at him, detecting something wrong in his tone. Martha noticed this as she asked. "What is it? Why's all the fuss?" she said as Sophie frowned at her. "Howell's still ill, it was just because of the Witch's intervention that he managed to gather his strength to fight her. I'm so worried... he was a bit pale last night too."

Michael's eyes widen in glee as Sophie mentioned it. "Ah... so that's why Master Howl was in your room—!" he cried, much to her dismay. Her sisters cried in delight as they shot her questions.

"Whoa... you're finally did it!"

"You're so bold!"

Both of her sisters cried in delight as Sophie ignored them and pulled Michael to her side. "Michael... what was it that you were about to say—?" she asked, while trying to not think about the tinkling feeling of her burning cheeks...

xxx

"Howl! Howell Jenkins?" cried the lady as Sophie entered the castle in haste.

"Quiet..." hissed Calcifer as he hovered over Sophie. "He's sleeping" he said as Sophie darted towards Howl, who slept at the side of the workbench.

Sophie glanced at the fire demon in shock. "Calcifer—! You didn't! Why didn't you tell him to rest some place more comfortable!" she cried as Calcifer argued.

"I tried! And there've been people coming here too. There were some who've heard that Howl's here and asked for some magical assistance. It seemed that the king already spread the news around. And he's still the Royal Magician, you know...?" explained the fire demon as Sophie tried to lift the man.

"Silly..." she said as Howl started to open his eyes and stared at her. "Stupid. When he was still sick too! Oh... you're awake. Mind some warm milk before resting? Wait here... I'm getting the milk and medicine..." rattled the lady of the house as Howl wondered aimlessly.

"Sophie... use me. Faster that way," said Calcifer as he readily landed on the hearth and bent down. Sophie immediately warmed the milk, and shove it to Howl.

"Here..." she said as she spooned down his medicine into his mouth before letting him drink it all away. "I say... still hot. Off to bed, my dear..." she said, feeling his temperature as Howl shook his head stubbornly.

"I'm not tired..." he said as Sophie grinned.

"Of course you are, honey. But your fever aren't getting much better if you keep on like this," she said soothingly. And somehow, that's all it takes to convince him. Howl slowly agreed to be led back into his room as Sophie helped him to bed.

She sighed as she was about to leave the room. "No... please don't leave me alone," said Howl softly, catching her arm as Sophie turned around and place a soft kiss on his forehead. She ran her fingers over his raven hair as she sat down.

"Of course..."

  
  



	2. In which they had a fight

_“So—phie..."_

Came a small whimper as she glanced towards the small bundle beside her. She sighed. Can't believe that she was younger than him by about eight years, she was practically acting as if she was Howl's mother! Oh... she thought, as her cheeks started to burn. That thought made her feel slight bit uncomfortable.

“What are you driving at—" she started to say as she was about to leave. But then she paused, for Howl was pulling on her skirts. Even in his sleep. She bent over to pull it away, as she heard faint sobs coming from him. “Why you cheek... what's the crying for?" she muttered by herself as she wiped the tears from his face. Suddenly realization dawned on her. She had forgotten that Howl's cold had blown over a few days ago, yet she told Martha and Lettie that he was still sick.

Perhaps the last night's incident made her think that way. Howl had been looking very pale. Could this fever have been coming due to the fact that Miss Angorian had almost crushed his heart? She _was_ a fire demon. And all that heat placed onto Howl's heart can't be too good. But what could this illness be then?

“Sophie... please don't go..." sobbed the child-like wizard again as Sophie looked at him annoyed.

“What—? I haven't even—" she started to say as his tears began to flow freely again.

“...please don't... leave me alone again...”

Sophie frowned at this as she ran her hands on his cheeks, brushing the tears away. “Bothersome! Why do you think I—?”

She paused as she remembered that she had indeed planned to leave earlier. Leaving him, as well as Michael and Calcifer. A thought rammed through the back of her mind as she reminded herself that it was Howl who had arranged for all of her family members to come visit last Midsummer's Day. She grinned as Howl's pitying look flashed into her mind.

Howl's hair started to turn dark brownish as Sophie continued running her hands over his hair. “Really... were you that alarmed when I said that I do not want to speak to you anymore? Silly, you must have not spend long time in the bath today, do you? Do you really loved me that much? You silly... slitherer-outer..." muttered Sophie as she amused herself with the thought.

“You're pretty useless... I guess. How you want to make me stay by your side... always! Hah! Next thing you'll be telling me could be that you're ill with heartache—!" she chuckled before realizing her words. There... the answer to her mystery! She glanced down anxiously as she looked over Howl's sleeping face. “So, _that_ was why—" she thought as the miserable face of his popped into her mind again.

“So that's why you were so miserable and making yourself ill for! It was all so dramatic of you..." sighed Sophie as she leaned into the dust-colored mattress and wrapped her arms around him. She chuckled as she noticed that there were less dust on the covers. “Haha... maybe finally I could come up here and clean up this room. If ever I should stay here much longer. Can't have only this spot being dirty while the rest of it weren't..." she said as she closed her eyes to sleep.

A smile... lined Howell's features as the pair was swept into dreamland...

xxx

“Sophie! Good morning!" cried Howl as he rushed down the stairs. Calcifer, Michael and Sophie looked up as Howl grinned at them. Funny for him to be thiis cheery in the morning. Sophie snorted. “Had a pleasant dream? Oh, it was evening right now, I beg your pardon. And lucky for you, dinner had just been done. Come sit here... you jolly old thing," said Sophie as she showed him the chair as she sauntered around to get the tea brewed.

Howl sulked on the chair as Michael looked nervously at him.

“What 'jolly old'... I'm not that old!” Howl hissed as Sophie chuckled to herself.

“Are you really well, Master Howl? I was so worried about you that even Martha noticed it and reminded me to take home some cakes for you," he said as Howl grinned back at him.

“Of course! I had a great dream just now... made me feel so light! And I got this thinking... about the castle—" he paused as Sophie poured them tea and sit beside him.

“Oh? Fancy your illness went off so soon. What dreams were you having—?" asked Sophie so casually despite fearing that Howl might've heard all of her mutterings by the bedside. Howl blushed as he avoided eye contact towards Sophie.

“Err... well, the dreams... mostly had you in it..." he whispered softly as Sophie and Michael had to strain their ears to hear him.

“Well!" he suddenly cried, changing the topic as the two jumped. “—about the castle, how about we make it fly? It'll be more fun to explore more places... other than have it roaming the wastelands all the time, and we could see places we've never seen before!" he exclaimed as the rest of them looked at him aghast.

“Howl! If you think I could just let you—" cried Calcifer as Howl interjected him.

“Of course, we could always set it down once a while. Have Calcifer some free time of his own. And I think— err, Sophie? I... could I— err, I mean if you won't mind... I'd like to make these changes..." he said cautiously as he noticed Sophie's horrified looks.

He stuttered. “I mean... even _you_ must have been tired of seeing the Wastelands. We could still drop by the flower fields to sell flowers but half the time we could still find some more adventures. It won't be dull... and err... I don't think we gonna have it fly a lot anyway..." Howl added as an afterthought. He was... after all, afraid of heights. He knew Sophie was... too.

Sophie noticed that Howl indeed am pushing so hard to try convincing her to stay in the castle, to actually go this far. She could see the frantic look on him showing how desperate he was. Perhaps she had been too hard on him? By now, she knew for sure that Howl cared for her as much as she was for him but was it too harsh to force him to admit it in front of her? He was a coward after all, a slitherer-outer most of the time.

She could imagine how hard it is for him to actually admitting his feelings to anyone.

“I don't care... it was your castle after all!" she said, before she could think. _Oh no_... she thought in alarm. This will certainly hurt his feelings! Judging from his looks, Sophie fearfully wait for the arrival of the green slime...

A full ten minutes passed as they waited in horror. Worrying if dinner will be ruined.

Surprisingly, it didn't come as grim-faced and pale, Howl rose from the seat as he started to head towards the door. “It's okay... I understand. It was a stupid idea anyway." he said as Sophie rose.

“Wait, Howl! I didn't mean it like that! I mean... it's your castle anyway so you shouldn't need my permission to do anything about it—!”

“It's okay..." said Howl again as if forced. “You don't have to apologize... or make me feel better. I... you know, if you wanted to leave the castle, you..” His heart tugged painfully on his chest as he struggled to finish his sentence. “... you could... just go. I have no right... to force you to stay.”

Sophie's eyes flared at the thought of it. How could he think she could just leave like that? Did he think she never cared for him? Oh... him and his tantrums!

“HOWL! You—" she cried as she stormed towards him. She lifted her hand to spank him before seeing his sorrowful look. “Howl... why would you think I'm going to leave you?" she asked gently as she lowered her hand. Howl looked at her morosely.

“Because... you wanted to, didn't you? The day before Midsummer's? If not because of the scarecrow...”

Sophie smiled grimly. “So that's why you arranged for Fanny's arrival, didn't you? And telling Michael to bring Martha and inviting Lettie and Mrs. Fairfax...?"

Howl nodded slowly as he spoke. “I... don't want you to leave. I thought... if you meet them, you'd feel happy again... and, and... stay." he said sheepishly.

Sophie smiled as she embraced him. “Silly coward...! I'd be damned if your real age was no more than twenty! You acted as if you're six! There's no way I'd find and loved another man who's as childish or lovable as you...”

“Then, you won't leave—!" asked Howl again as he still refused to let her go.

“Yes... I won't leave you. Or else it will not be living happily ever after... is it?" she said as they pulled apart. Howl chuckled.

“No..." he said as a grin started to form on his face.

“So... does it still hurt? Your heart? You know... you should take it easy now that you got your heart back. A heart really is a heavy burden—" she rattled as Howl shook his head.

He wondered if he'd ever again feel complete without having to fight or hearing Sophie lecture him for hours. He felt so happy that he wanted to fly had he had real wings. “It felt better... thanks to you. Ahh Sophie—! Let's go and eat ice creams! And chocolates and all! Calcifer—! I'll bring back some steaks and give some to you. Come Michael! Come Sophie...! Let's go!" cried Howl happily as he dragged Michael and Sophie towards the door. He turned the knob black-down before glancing towards Sophie, whose face creased at the mention of strange words as _ice creams_.

“Sophie... I love you," he said suddenly and kissed her fully as the action caught Sophie off-guard.

  



End file.
